the five days of misery have finally passed.
another 5-6 days awaits next week.
i can't wait for the one week break because i need a whole lot of catching up to do.
block test 2 is coming pretty sooooooooon.

the week that just passed seems like a whole month.
it's hard to believe that so many things happened in just a short period of time.

my life is like a cosine graph. (hahah ameera)

met up with the clique on sunday.
it was really nice catching up and laughing our asses off and not caring about the world staring at our chaotic selves. cheryl pampers. the guys' wacky presents. huda's randomness. michelle's blurness. yq's dumbness. erwin's gayness. amelia's mommyness. hahah. pekshia's boyfriend. jeriel and royston.. aiya i see them everyday. haha. aww hayati wished you were there.









so anyways, after last weekend, everything that's got to do with my acadamic performance sorta like slide downwards because all my homework was left hanging. i did a homework or two out of a dozen of them each night, fell asleep on the carpet, woke up with an aching back, rushed to school, perspired so much, did my homework in between the pathetic amount of break and felt panicky all the time because i know i should just slap myself inside out for sleeping at night when i have homework to do. ugh that's so sickening you know. i HATE it when i dont do homework! i know i should make it up RIGHT NOW, as in do my homework NOW so that i won't complain again the next time. but if i dont blog now, i can just burst because i just feel the urge to do so. oh to add on, i failed to get a D for my 2.4km jog-walk BY A BLEEDIN' 6 SECONDS! i just cannot run when i feel like vomiting on my 5th round onwards la!



anyhows, i'm really tired.
i'd like to end off with this little something which i extracted from a meaningful email nasuha sent to me.


The Prophet said: "Do not think little of any good deed even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance [face] (Muslim)

Abdullaah Ibn Haarith said, 'I never came across a person who smiled as much as the Prophet. The Prophet regarded smiling with a brother as an act of charity. (Tirmidhi)

why can't some people just smile sincerely. why can't some people just smile? why must hatred and amity exist? some people. if only they can be a little bit more reasonable, sensitive and less bitchy.

anyways, thanks nas for the email! (:

now should i sleep or do homework?


Blogged @ 10:06:00 PM





last night was the GENUS something at UCC.
it was okay i guess.
NUS's guitar ensemble is definitely way better than yjc's. *rolls eyes*

anyways, i am friggin' agitated.
i obviously cant finish my homework before i leave to meet the clique this afternoon.
i'm so sad hayati cannot make it ):
and my ipod just decided to die on me - just when i've the opportunity to play it out loud on the speakers. ok so it didnt literally die. it's just paralysed. in a state of coma. because it's hanging - dunno for what also la.

UKJRGJNOFMVORJTFELS;Dkjlrea;f vp3r;?NASP;FD ;2351^#%^%#&uq#w


next week's mr sim's concert at VCH.
i feel so musical la.
turned out that it wasnt mr alex who was performing last night. just the guitar ensemble.

Blogged @ 2:54:00 PM




i'm crippled from exhaustion.

every single thing just seems to drain me out.
it's too late to sleep early now.
gahh.

guitar. never-ending homework. dikir barat.

the weekends aren't free too because tomorrow's mr alex's concert, sunday's the meet up with the clique!! :D hopefully all goes well...

maybe i should start on my hw now. or should i just sleep?
hmmm


some recent photos:
after guitar, after crashing jam&hop and while waiting for the dancer friends to finish their practice to surprise farah with the wonderful presents! hahah

happy birthday nurfarahin ismail!!


this was taken during dikir barat break time. it was a really torturous practice cum training because we had to do physical activities and sing + shout at the same time. but fun ah. i know i look so 'mat' and stuff in the pic. we're totally nisha's 'dayang ah-peks' la. hahaha


my fingers are aching from practising the guitar but i still cant get it!
my stomach;s aching probably from gastric or smth.
i think i need to sleep.

actually there's so much i wanna rant about but there's just not much time for me to do so because i think i already did it verbally to so many people.

one way or another, i am enjoying this hectic schedule to a certain extent, but i'm sad that i havent found time for myself. ):

Blogged @ 11:32:00 PM




interpol is just so sexyyyy.


anyways, i dont have to make myself get away from the computer these days.
i tend to drift away from it judging from the workload and hectic 12-hour school life.
guitar practice on mondays, wednesdays and fridays; dikir barat barat practice on thursdays.
i'm currently trying to adapt to this 'new' busy lifestyle.
it's not easy because i totally didnt do any form of homework last night cos i basically fainted after an attempt to relax my mind after 2 hours of chem tuition which was after 2.5hours of guitar. i watched FAIRLY ODD PARENTS. my favourite-st cartoon! but anyways, supposedly, my brother said the tv makes the brain more tired. i suppose that explains why i fainted immediately after that.

monday is sucks.
HAH.
reminds me of nasuha..

alcohol is sucks!
wine is sucks!

i miss nasuha already.
the weekend felt like a whole week because it was basically full of laughter, peace and joy PLUS doing homework. i felt foreign coming back to school on monday.

money is an issue now.
the money i saved for buying new specs is depleting fast because im contemplating if i should really get a new pair of specs. hmm. gahh that one can think later.

right now, i've TWO freakin' math tutorials to complete!
CRAZY.

Blogged @ 11:41:00 PM




wow.
i havent blogged since 6 days ago or something.
who cares.

anyways, nothing much has been going on i THINK.
i feel really sleepy.
i HAVE to complete my homework before meeting nasuha later on.
somehow, i dont think it's quite possible because i predict that i'll just fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

i just feel extremely irritated and not pleased with so many things this week.
maybe it's something i've been bottling up or it's going to be the time of the month pretty soon or both.
maybe there's just too much things happening. bizarre things.
too much information for my tender age.
too much of everything for my puny brain capacity.
too little time for me to do everything.
too little confidence in myself to even believe i can soar.

you know what this can all be possibly mean PMS.
but i thank PMS for making me think about the worst i can ever think of.
just don't ask my why.
i get irritated sometimes when people ask what i'm talking about.

sometimes i wonder why i even bother keeping a blog when i have a diary which i can write about ANYTHING in the universe.
maybe blogging allows me to let the whole world know what i'm thinking and understand me, yet i dont think people really understand me from what i write. blogs can really be deceiving. come to think of it, i'm not sure i really write about how i feel all the time.


gahh.



like a mosquito bite, you are extremely irritating.

Blogged @ 1:35:00 PM




the good thing about this long weekend i had was that i had a great hell of a time slacking my ass off and wasting a whole lot of time. BUT i've neglected time management and left my homework hanging while i chilled guiltily. hey, when else can we all get a weekend as long as this right? might as well make the best out of it. but of course i did do some homework/studying at random times ah.
now, i'm left with math tutorial 7.2 which i think i might have forgotten ALL the concepts we were taught because.. ahh should have done that immediately after the topic was taught then at least my brain won't get so rusty. and study chem skill A and malay lit. and math tys. i'll leave math tutorial 7.3 and 8.1 to another time.

lepak-ed at nurul's on friday since her parents were away.
if only diy and shiks were there too..
what did i do on saturday? oh right. got my PAY! heehee. but i set aside the money for many different things.. hence, not much left for me to splurge. then met diy and shiks to studyyy. oh boy we really did study! had munchy's then took 962 with them to sembawang where i met my parents who were at a wedding preparation (rewang).
today.. went to the wedding.
omg, the food was bleedin' good i couldn't stand up straight cos i was sooo full.
i think i might have gained a kg or two during this 4 days.
watch out yj, tomorrow got one new giant in school.
haaaah not funny.

alright, off to complete them wretched homework!
even though my time management sucks like hell, at least i do my homework right?
hee.
i think i wanna watch tv first ah. :s
OH or maybe i can watch tv AND do math at the same time to avoid from being so guilty.
heehee.
i know it hardly ever works but...

Blogged @ 8:42:00 PM




call me a sucker for sad stories.
today's episode for Satu Jam or rather One Hour was rather heart felt and is comparable to today's context.
i cried towards the end of the show because i felt as though i was the character herself.
all of us with a mother should really appreciate her while she's still here.

my love towards my mother is so powerful, i cannot describe it in words.
still, i know i tend to hurt her at times.
but my actions are truly unintentional.

mak, i love you sooo much and i cannot imagine losing you.
and of course it applies to fathers as well. (:

Blogged @ 10:23:00 PM





okay i've photos already!
(credits go to NISHA!)
at least these photos will bring pleasure to my eyes if i visit my blog.
will it bring pleasure to yours?
haah ok crap.




i was hooked on to this game for a moment because ridhwan told me to go to miniclips cos i told him i was bored.

Blogged @ 11:57:00 PM




today, i pretended i was rich.
when i say rich, i mean spend money without thinking.
then again, my grandmother always tells me that i shouldn't care if the things i really want is expensive or not as long as i have the money. and those things must be relevant to my daily needs la. money will not go with us when we die, so why be stingy to ourselves? ;)
and whenever i spend, i will always remember what amelia said.
MONEY CAN ALWAYS BE EARNED.
ahhh it'll just make me lose my guilt!
(but of course i won't feel guilty if i saved the money myself la. i'll feel guilty only when i use too much of my parents' money. (: )
still, saving is very important, BUT saving does not mean i can't be generous.

yea so back to what i was saying.
ruzaini and faiz claimed that all the fastfood restaurants are packed, so we decided on Sakura where the 2 boys, diy, shikeen, farah and i had lunch. nisha and julie ate at ljs cos they wanted to eat angmoh food. hahahah. ahhh food was delicious and ten bucks gone just like that. worth it la i suppose. :D
movie plans were cancelled so we decided on bowling but nisha and julie left cos they wanted to play pool.

seriously, it was my FIRST TIME bowling. yayy!
and it was a good experience.
met a few juniors there! :D nizam, liza, syahrul and hidayat.
so ruz, faiz, shiks and me went against them - which they won la because the seniors suck. hahahah no la actually it was just me and shikeen. i SLOWWWLY got the hang of it after the juniors left. hoho. shikeen and me teamed up and we beat faiz laaa! omg right?
ok so that was 8bucks gone..
diy was emo-ing with my mp3 while we were playing. hahah.

then we walked to northpoint and chilled at macd's. i guess we were all worned out by then la. nothing much to talk about. ate oreo cheesecake and fries! (:

was supposed to meet hayati today but our plans were cancelled.
hope you're alright darling. ;)




millions of hours later...

ibu nisha is still not online.
so no photos today!
yawns.

hehe HAPPY NEW YEAR my Chinese friends! :D

Blogged @ 8:33:00 PM




omg! there IS an IGNORE ALL button in facebook.
whahahah.

i'm looking forward to the loooong weekend.
i hope to use my time DAMN wisely la.

Blogged @ 6:27:00 PM







Blogged @ 12:48:00 AM




haha. being quite narcissistic (i'm not sure if it's a suitable description) i yahoo-ed my name and i came across my ancient blog. hahah. click here, busybodies.

i sense differences between a 15 year old and 18 year old me.
erm similarities? i complain as much as i do now - i think. but i think i was more driven towards my goals then than now. something that struck me the most after scanning through my past entries is this...

"when madhiah wants something, she will do her best to get it. thaaaaat's me! hehe."

oh during that period of time i wanted to get the FCUK fragrance so badly and i was saving up so much but got another bottle of perfume instead. heh. so anyways, i realised that i'd do the best that i can to get what i really want. most of the time, i get what i want based on my efforts. as compared to my attitude now, i'm not sure i'm giving my fullest to whatever i do. back then, i wanted to do well in my studies and based on my results for SA2 which i recalled from the blog, i think i did pretty well. i got an A2 for chemistry and i actually said I LOVE IONIC EQUATIONS. seriously. what exactly happened during these 3 years? what do i REALLY WANT?

i spoke to my mother just now and i recalled my dreams which i had/still have. i had a good chat with my dad about generation gap and i hope i made my parents understand that we have a lot of differences. no matter what, i hope we still understand each other and learn to give and take. my mother said i should consider taking psychology which then rang a bell in my head. if i remembered correctly, i wanted to take psychology in the future so badly when i was 14. when i was 15, i had ambitions of inspiring others by any possible means. at 16, i didnt care about anything and focussed on getting 20 points and below for the O lvls. ok so anyways, i told my mother... i want to inspire others, be a physiotherapist or do something environment-related. my fourth choice would be getting into the education system and be a teacher. as much as all these careers have vast dissimilarities, these are all i really want to do. then i thought, i havent been doing much to actually achieve these goals! which is WHY... i have to start pulling my socks till the front part of the socks tear. got the drift?

i also felt that taking psychology is quite pointless? because to be really successful in that area, i think i've to study overseas as well? and i felt that was a hindrance. then again, so what right? what rights do i have to stop myself from getting what i want? i should really start believing in myself. who knows i can write books like Anthony Robbins and Adam Khoo? even if i dont achieve these big dreams, at least i know my dreams are not limited. ;)

i dont know how true it is when some people say if you tell others what you want to do, most likely, you won't do it. let's just see how true it is and see how much i'll do. from now onwards, i'll have to remember this...

"when madhiah wants something, she will do her best to get it. thaaaaat's me! hehe."

InsyaAllah. (God willing)

funny how a 15-year-old me back then can motivate a 18-year-old me now.

Blogged @ 9:28:00 PM




eeeee
APPLICATIONS everywhere!
first it was facebook, now friendster.
talk about imitations man.
COUNTDOWN TIMER application?
HOW FAT ARE YOU application?
WHICH HEROES ABILITY DO YOU HAVE and a million and one other nonsensical shit.
nonsense.

why cant they have applications that are really completely totally relevant to our lives. totally no-brainer la these childish applications people seem to be "adding" and "entertaining". sorry, no offense, but i cannot see the purpose of all these irrelavant applications. maybe there should be applications worth "applying" for like how to apply chemistry concepts? or i dunno.. something more educational so at least people dont waste their time completely on facebook and friendster and other friend-related thing to come. okay la fine, nerd alert. but if you compare how fat are you applications and what type of girl are you? etc etc, why bother displaying on your profile and share with your friends. what do you get, really? i just dont understand these people who created these useless stuff! and they still get paid! hold on, do they? if they do... seriously, the world is becoming more and more stupid.

ugh.

i thought of doing my never-ending homework tonight.
the eyes dont seem to permit.
ive been sleeping early for the past two nights.
which explains why my brain's stamina has worsened.

speaking of eyes, i think my eye might be infected again.
GREAT.
what's up left eye?
what's wrong with you??
maybe my contacts dont fit anymore cos my pupils have dilated by a mere millimetres due to the dim-ness of everything. you know, in the dark, your pupils dilate? yay at least i remembered a bit of the bio stuff i learnt in secondary school. -rolls eye-

oh yes i would like to add something.. i wish there was an IGNORE ALL button in friendster and facebook so that i the pending invitation page wont be as messy and it might just add bulk to my temporary files and cookies whatsoever you computer people call it.

argh im really turning mad.
should i sleep or study?
im torn in between... ahh help!
undramatic drama..

alright, have a nice weekend world! (:

Blogged @ 10:45:00 PM